1) Do you want to get married?
no. i am already married. i would not like to change that.
did i want to get married? not for the sake of "being married", no. but certainly at the time i thought it was the natural thing to do to express our commitment and it continues to have financial and legal advantages that i consider very important. (it was also useful to get our families to treat us like full adults.) i know people who have been shut out of making medical decisions for their partner and that set of rights is very important to me.
2) Where would you like to get married?
if i could do it again, i'm kind of obsessed with this place, which remains mysterious but seems like it should be a private club. since i probably don't have the connections for that dreamy view, The Ruins would be nice. (it's hard to tell from the website, but that swanky eccentric inside is nested inside what looks like a rotting warehouse with trees growing through the broken roof.) or maybe i would make everyone go out to Kalaloch or Doe Bay. My one regret about my actual wedding and reception was that we didn’t have a pig roast.*
3) If you were getting married in a week, who would be in your wedding party?
is that a logistical question? there were no attendants when we got married, because to be honest neither of us had wedding-party-worthy friends living nearby. mimerki and scarlettina, I guess?
...I've never been in a wedding party. There's only one person I wish had asked me and we're no longer friends.
4) What would your wedding colours be?
at the actual event i had red roses, green ivy, and heather in my bouquet; my dress and my hair were trimmed with ribbon roses in a variety of colors. nothing matched. i suppose if i had to make things match they would be green.
5) Does marriage mean to you 'til death do us part?'
well, it's working out that way so far and i hope that it continues so, but i'd be lying if i said that i never had times of doubt. i feel lucky that we've been able to work that out.
so no, i don't think it can be "til death", at least not legally or religiously. i think everyone who gets married for love thinks that it's going to last. but i think that people grow and change over their lifetimes and maybe you were really perfect together in the moment, but you don't grow in complementary ways. when that happens, you should be able to go. unhappy marriage is the worst.
*in PA there was this dude who would bring the equipment to your house. He had a rotisserie smoker he towed behind his truck and he would cook, carve, and serve a whole hog.
anyhoo, one of them is Designs for Knitting Kilt Hose and Knickerbocker Stockings. It is so charmingly half-assed. Originally it was self-published in Scotland in 1978, and the author was about 78 at the time. It assumes that the reader is intimately familiar with kilt hose, and the concept of cuffs hiding a garter, and calf decreases.
she doesn't bother with a legend for her stitch abbreviations** until there's a section she lifted from antique pattern books. THEN there's a legend and the untranslated patterns for a couple pages.
the best part? The section on argyle where she admits that she was never able to finish an argyle sock!
I will be able to make good use of it, but a few years ago it would have been impossible for me to decipher.
*they made some poor choices when they relocated a few years ago, and they exhausted all their resources. the storefront closes this month.
**w.o. stands for wool over, which folks in the US call a yarnover.
I'm finally spinning the rest of the fiber that became a felted dog toy. It's...challenging. I couldn't find the right settings for my wheel, so I pulled out a drop spindle for the first time in months.
Now when the fiber is clumpy or suddenly breaks it's no big deal. (Although I hate having this not-cheap spindle hit the floor.)
This stuff has little blobs of short fiber in it (neps). You can either obsessively pick them out, or make lumpy yarn.
It's neps all the way down. Let's just call it rustic texture and admire the colors.
the movie has the feel of a Marvel comic, where the characters are clearly a part of a larger world that includes both superheroes and locations that are familiar, like New York City. Peter is a 15 year old boy who lives in this world. Homecoming is well-executed, and dare i say it, better than the Raimi films. if you like Spidey, you should see it. it is definitely Spider-Man, and all the ways that it breaks away from existing tropes are good and leave me hopeful for the future of the franchise.
i won't be seeing it again for a while, though.
i love my Marvel Unlimited subscription, and whenever a character comes up, i go off and read up on their history.* the one character that i like but can't seem to read much of is Spider-Man. i could never quite put my finger on why i would read an issue or two and then walk away. Peter Parker is a great character, and well supported with a-list writers and artists.
after seeing the movie the other night, something clicked. i can't deal with the Peter sad = story good** dynamic. he's perpetually unable to enjoy his personal life or be truly happy because Spider-Man gets in the way. and so often that "Peter sad" comes from him trying to maintain his secret identity and keep his patrolling secret from people who deserve to know. or, as mimerki noted, he doesn't leverage his connections with his wealthy superhero friends to help with his cashflow problems nor use normal legal means to achieve his needs when it would be completely reasonable to do so. so first, there's a hell of a lot of "Peter sad" and i can only take so much of that, then there's Peter's wit only being applied to the heroing side of his life.
it's like he's perpetually punished for doing good. that's not something i actually want out of my entertainment.
it's too bad. i can't help but like the guy.
*this has mostly been delightful. a detour like Night Nurse is surprisingly good. then again, The Great Lakes Avengers i tried reading is painfully unfunny.
**i'm paraphrasing one of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer writers here. and "Buffy sad" was also a problem.
after chatting with philotera (who has been kayaking for a few years now), i signed up for a kayak class to not-so-metaphorically get my feet wet. i was looking to get some paddling technique training, and see how it all felt vs canoeing. would being so low in the water be scary? would my legs go to sleep? would the paddling exhaust me?
oh, i liked it. pretty much all of it.
( about the class )
at the end of it all, i came home and realized that i had lived for years near a lazy river (and while growing up near fast-flowing but not-rough creeks) and could have been paddling nearly year-round. where i grew up, the word kayak meant whitewater and helmets and eskimo rolls.* oh well.
my legs did not go to sleep. nor was i crippled with pain the next day, although i definitely felt the work in my abs and i had a little sunburn on the backs of my shoulders.
i'm dreaming of boat-in camping now. but that means getting C on board. (and probably going without Leela, which makes me sad...okay, i was trying to figure out if she could sit between my legs as long as i skipped a spray skirt.)
*and perhaps if i had grown up here i would have thought of kayaking as waves and drysuits and hypothermia, rather than puttering about in a lake.