miss_swamp (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
miss_swamp) wrote2008-02-11 07:34 am
miss_swamp) wrote2008-02-11 07:34 am
Entry tags:
worry [prenatal musings #5a]
I couldn't sleep last night. Too worried. I have no reason to worry: no blood, no pain, nothing weird. I'll feel better and quit worrying after this afternoon's appointments, after I know everything's okay.
No, I'll quit worrying after the big ultrasound and quad tests in 6 weeks or so, when I know the kid is free of genetic issues. No, I'll quit worrying after the kid is viable. No, after he's* born healthy. No, after he gets through a year meeting all his developmental markers and not dying of SIDS. No, after he's three and doesn't have autism, I can quit worrying. No, ...
In reality, I know from talking to friends with adult children that I will never stop worrying about him. Never. Not for the rest of his life or mine (I hope mine).
In the meantime, I'll worry less (for a while, at least) after today's appointments. And I'll probably have sea monkey ultrasound pictures, which you may scorn and I will try not to get too sappy about.
* I've been having boy dreams. I don't know if that's because I actually know something, or because we named our first son before we were even engaged and only recently picked a girl name. We may know later today if I'm right--if he flashes a tiny penis on the ultrasound--but we won't know if I'm wrong; he could just be a modest boy.
No, I'll quit worrying after the big ultrasound and quad tests in 6 weeks or so, when I know the kid is free of genetic issues. No, I'll quit worrying after the kid is viable. No, after he's* born healthy. No, after he gets through a year meeting all his developmental markers and not dying of SIDS. No, after he's three and doesn't have autism, I can quit worrying. No, ...
In reality, I know from talking to friends with adult children that I will never stop worrying about him. Never. Not for the rest of his life or mine (I hope mine).
In the meantime, I'll worry less (for a while, at least) after today's appointments. And I'll probably have sea monkey ultrasound pictures, which you may scorn and I will try not to get too sappy about.
* I've been having boy dreams. I don't know if that's because I actually know something, or because we named our first son before we were even engaged and only recently picked a girl name. We may know later today if I'm right--if he flashes a tiny penis on the ultrasound--but we won't know if I'm wrong; he could just be a modest boy.