home is where the heart is

[miss_swamp]

I know, I know, but it's too long and too emo for Facebook, and my parents are over there.

Hi there.

Lately I've been thinking more and more about moving back to Minnesota. Like maybe, maaaaybe it could happen? Housing there is much more affordable, and the progressivism feels much more authentic, but mostly: I miss my family. I see pictures of my brother and his baby having a casual dinner at my parents' house, but we never have that because we're never there long enough. Plus we stay with them, which brings out my inner 13-year-old in ways that repulse me. If we lived a mile away, the boundaries might be clearer. Maybe I could learn to be a grown-up with them--and have a relationship with my niece.

The pro/con list, I'm realizing, isn't just logistical (nicer housing for less money! free babysitting! fewer plane tickets to buy!) but more a question of: where do we matter? Today my boys walked to a friend's house for the first time: point, Seattle. I won't be with my mom when Hillary gets elected: point, Minneapolis. I have a great teaching partner and feel appreciated by the school community: point, Seattle. James and I haven't been out in almost 2 months, but couldn't find a sitter this weekend for any price: point, Minneapolis.

We have decent friends here. People rallied when we had the babies, but that's been a long time. We have people who would still do a lot for us if we asked, but not many who would think of us first for anything. We just don't have that much of a "village." In Minnesota, we'd have to build friendships (albeit not completely from scratch), but we'd have my family: point, Minneapolis.

Of course, moving sucks and job-hunting is painful, and there are people here who would miss us. I don't get this sappy during the week when I'm busy with work. But it's still there in the background. Why can't we have teleportation yet?

Comments

[ewigweibliche.livejournal.com]

I would absolutely support your move back there. We don't see each other as it is, and I'm sorry about that.

[scarlettina.livejournal.com]

I guess I always just figure you're busy with the kids or with J. Objectively I know this isn't true, because I've seen you longing for more than your family life, but somehow, it's what occurs to me first. I also understand the longing for family. I feel like I've missed so much of my brother's life, my niece's life, and I hate that. I would love to see them more.

I need to put together that SLGC karaoke reunion we talked about on Facebook. That would be a start. Maybe can you get away for a girls' night out at some point?

[miss-swamp.livejournal.com]

I would love a reunion, karaoke, or any other get-together. I know you understand being far from home!

[nimnod.livejournal.com]

I do miss you here. Ask yourself where you *want* to be. Or make a list of the points for each one and then consult your feelings - are you disappointed re which one "wins"? Or glad? Gives you a better idea what you actually want to do vs what you think you *should* do.

What does James feel?