miss_swamp: (giggle)
[personal profile] miss_swamp
Whenever I'm somewhere as J's Wife--Aggie events and family stuff--I'm struck with the overwhelming urge to proclaim my lesbian past and bi present. I haven't figure out my motivation. Am I trying to prove what a stud he is? That even though he's the boring one in the family (and thank goodness), he's not that boring? That even though I seem all sweet and innocent, I'm not that boring either? That gay people aren't scary? Am I rebelling against the traditional Wife role? Maybe all of the above. So his step-sibs and the Aggies know now, but not the parents.

I don't have such a strong need to come out anywhere else, but I guess everybody else in my world already knows.


Also? I don't care how dry the heat is, 113 degrees is still damn hot.

Date: 2007-07-02 10:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixxelpuss.livejournal.com
I have some of the same impulses with Tim's family and people I know from school. I think it's because I realize that as a rapidly approaching 30 married woman, I look like the status quo. I want people to know to watch their Ps and Qs, and that I am not what they think I am. It's a "don't assume I'm heterosexual" thing, but it's also a reaction to being seem through the lens of Tim or of my program. Whenever I'm being seen as a function of something else, essentially. It's a way of asserting my identity and not just being part of whatever other thing.

Date: 2007-07-03 12:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] textualdeviance.livejournal.com
Same here. Compounded, of course, by both of us being queer. M is only marginally out at work, which makes me twitchy when I'm around some of his coworkers and feel like I can't really be myself. And then there's his family, of course, which is a whole nother mess.

Date: 2007-07-02 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scarlettina.livejournal.com
I was going to say "it's a question of asserting your own identity" but [livejournal.com profile] pixxelpuss got to it first. That's why she's the one getting a higher degree. Brains! :-)

And yes, 113 is damn hot.

Date: 2007-07-03 06:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deagh.livejournal.com
Well speaking as an Aggie who also doesn't fit the traditional mold (I haven't worn a bow in my hair since high school, and being Maid of Honor at a wedding in 1990 was the last time I wore a buttbow (and I still give her crap for that, by the way)....

I think you feel compelled to do it just to desperately fight back against the overwhelming traditionalism in the room whenever there's an event.

Plus all the other stuff, but that too.

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